Toss That Beat

So 32 people have gotten sick from a product and the government unilaterally says, just before the national eating holiday, DON’T USE THE PRODUCT and everyone’s freaking out….

romaine

OK, SO about the 58 deaths in Las Vegas a year ago….or the 50 people who died in Orlando….or the 20 toddlers who perished in Sandy Hook from another deadly product which is….(wait for it)….STILL ON THE SHELVES.
A product which huge lobbying groups rally to keep available, which armed militias act in paranoid defense of, which slightly less than half the country votes for its most swindling, lying, scamming, stealing, pussy-groping opportunistic advocate and which the government literally bans research into the harm it causes???????
“I dunno, I’m more scared of lettuce. Why isn’t the government PROTECTING. ME. FROM. LETTUCE!!!!!”
Maybe we need to give people other forms of lettuce so they can save each other, you know…
ARUGULA GIVES UP OWN LIFE TO SAVE PRESCHOOLERS
BIBB THINKS FAST AND SLAYS ROGUE ROMAINE
ARM OUR SCHOOLS WITH ICEBERG!
MY RADICCHIO OVER MY DEAD BODY!
We are so totally screwed as a society.

 

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